Each pair in its history, through inevitable tensions and crises. "Objective happy couple" is a series of articles devoted to this woman and mother. Episode after episode, analyzes the situation with the help of our experts and develop the most effective strategy to overcome the difficulties.
IF YOU BREAK THE ALLIANCE
beginning of every love story, there is agreement between partners, cooperation and mutual support. In a word, the two allies. As time passes and situations change, sometimes the alliance cracks and behaviors emerge where before there was support for more or less open rivalries, power struggles in which each of the two struggle to impose their point of view of diminishing or ignoring the other's.
"The couple's relationship is also built through the management of power," said Katjuscia Manganiello, a psychologist and psychotherapist free professional family in Pesaro . "Over time it is established, by implication, who is more authoritative, in which field and with that degree of flexibility. For example, a couple can deal with the woman in a privileged way of economic management and human social relations. The division of roles is accepted and shared, but when the couple took over a novelty, like the birth of a child, the balance fluctuates and may even break. Events that require a global change of family functioning also necessitate a revision of the responsibility. "
ANALYZE YOUR MENAGE
Chi di voi si occupa della gestione quotidiana della vita domestica? La vostra divisione dei ruoli è volontaria o imposta dalle circostanze?
Alcune coppie scelgono di adottare una divisione dei ruoli “tradizionale”, in cui è principalmente la donna ad occuparsi della cura della casa e della famiglia. Altre preferiscono impostare un rapporto di completa collaborazione e intercambiabilità nelle incombenze domestiche. In questo secondo caso, può accadere che l'arrivo di un bambino o un mutamento della situazione lavorativa spingano la donna ad accettare controvoglia un ruolo che non la appaga.
“Con la nascita di un figlio, soprattutto nella prima fase di vita del bimbo, la donna vede cambiare radicalmente le sue abitudini”, commenta l'esperta. “Se la mamma, durante la gravidanza, ha maturato l'idea di dover modificare molti aspetti della sua vita e alla nascita le rinunce sono accompagnate da sostegno, riconoscimento e soddisfazioni, il passaggio da una realtà all'altra avviene in modo naturale e senza rancori. Quando la mamma invece si trova a vivere una realtà molto diversa da quella che si aspettava e intorno, dal partner e dai familiari, non trova appoggio e ascolto, allora è possibile che in lei cresca un forte risentimento che si esprime in aspri conflitti nei confronti di chi le è vicino”.
Who among you is the most professionally fulfilled? Who earns more?
Today it's increasingly common for the woman to have more professional success and that of his partner earns more than him. It is a relatively new situation in our social landscape, which can generally feelings of jealousy and rivalry.
"When the woman is earning more, the traditional roles appear reversed, so the two partners have to deal with another unique situation for themselves and for others," says the psychologist. "The woman lives with the feeling of guilt because you spend more work than others family tasks. Man must learn to cultivate his self-esteem are also focusing on other aspects of self. Finally, the couple must support the external assessment, not always favorable, relatives and acquaintances. These aspects create pressures within the couple, and if not openly communicated and incorporated into the report may lead to a deep malaise. The rivalry and jealousy between partners arise when a couple before, is built on a competitive relationship, regardless of income or the other ... "
Dr. Manganiello Katjuscia Psychologist Psychotherapist Pesaro Urbino Marche Studio di Psicologia e Psicoterapia V. Postumo, 8 Pesaro Urbino Marche
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