La separazione è un processo doloroso per ogni componente della famiglia. E’ un fallimento affettivo ed esistenziale which marks a dramatic and inevitable break between "before" and "after".
A couple splits his time between the end of a large part of his life and the beginning of a new life to be built with great personal sacrifice and beyond.
And 'how to deal with bereavement: there is the loss of an important part of self and the need to still go ahead and build a project for the future.
happens that it is difficult to accept the end of the report, even for those who chose to separate themselves with more conviction, because the link is a hard habit to break is made of content, of everyday life, sometimes obvious but essential.
With the separation must deal with an unexpected emptiness, to fill complicated, painful and unacceptable. So, rather than stopping to feel the pain, you choose the fight. The debate continues and is exacerbating the dysfunctional and misguided attempt to fight back and fight against an intolerable reality.
And the children? What role in all this? They do not choose to separate, but in spite of themselves are the protagonists of separation. Are involved in parental disputes and do not want or may waive the bond with mom and dad. Most are small and there are fewer resources to address this complicated transition as adolescents and young people more expedient, but when their identity is expected to strengthen this fracture.
The consequences for children are almost inevitable in the sense that the separation is still an event that changes or transforms their life path. In order for the effects of separation are not only negative, it must be strong commitment from parents.
At a time of great vulnerability must be able to recognize first and foremost the needs and welfare for their children and choose in accordance with these. For example, a branch of the main needs, during a separation, it is good or at least sufficient to maintain a relationship with both parents, and every choice, every word that every behavior must meet this need. Hard task, especially when the couple still has things to say or often reproach, then you should find adequate space and time for discussions and others for education and care of children.
The break is never final because it concerns only the married couple and the parental couple must stay together forever. Only together, parents can build the link between education and that their children need. If this seems difficult it is equally necessary. A split pair that has the power to preserve the educational union with the former spouse should not hesitate to ask for help.
Katjuscia Manganiello Psychologist and Psychotherapist Dr. Urbino, Pesaro (Marche)
Study of Psychology and Psychotherapy via Posthumus, 8 Urbino, Pesaro (Marche)