Today betrayal occurs often in couples who are going through a critical phase of their existence, as an attempt to fill that emotional distance and that emotional void that you have created over time between the two partners.
More and more couples find themselves having to cope with a hectic life, now faster and demanding that leaves little room for intimacy and affection. We are involved from a spin of events: work, home, children, and more travel, passions personal care for the body, the ambitions and technology (internet, mobile phones, TV, iPod, etc). All important aspects of our life that sometimes make us lose sight of the essential things: the people around us.
Thus, in this whirlwind of activity, we do not realize that our partner needs us. Gradually do not look the same as before, do not listen, not the caress, did not tell us and many others "not" assuming there despite our neglect.
E 'at this point that the other man or woman, feels neglected and makes attempts to communicate, but the answer is, more or less the same "I work for you, I'll right a bit 'off!" or "I will run from morning to night to take care of the home, children and work and do not want to hear your complaints. " The justifications are very good, work, home and children but what you're missing? We are not aware of this and gradually the petitioner resigned and is no longer questions.
With silence seems unbridgeable distance and the gap becomes unsustainable. So while one partner becomes more and more absorbed by its commitments to each other (or sometimes both) realize that there is still someone (maybe you know about "face book") capable di dare attenzioni, ascolto, cure, affetto, calore e si cede alla tentazione di farsi avvolgere per far sparire quella sensazione di vuoto e d’inutilità.
In questo senso, l’adulterio diventa il risultato di uno sforzo goffo e inadeguato per risolvere un problema di coppia e proprio per questo motivo è immancabilmente scoperto dal partner tradito.
La scoperta del “segreto” ha nello specifico la funzione di portare a galla un disagio, personale e di coppia, che non è stato possibile o non ci sono state le capacità per esprimerlo in altro modo. Naturalmente l’impatto è forte e a causa della sua forza che la coppia si trova a dover fare i conti with their difficulties.
Now what to do? The egg is broken, you can not even go back and continue to pretend that all is for the better: it's time to tackle the problems of the relationship. You can choose between two paths: the separation or marital therapy.
Both alternatives lead to inevitable changes, personal and couple changes achieved through sacrifice and pain, changes in any case that may open the door to growth and the best personal and relational well-being. Here, then, that the betrayal, pain and fatigue, you can raise to build a new balance more authentic, intimate and satisfying.
Dott.ssa Katjuscia Manganiello - Psicologa Psicoterapeuta Pesaro Urbino (Marche)
Studio di Psicologia e Psicoterapia- Via Guido Postumo, 8 - Pesaro Urbino (Marche)
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