Elena Buonanno interview Dr Katjuscia Manganiello - The Agenda of Health June-July 2010-'60 Media Edition - Scientific Director Charles Gargiulo
"Today a number of reasons, including which also the precariousness many mothers can not afford to stay home and follow his son in early, even if they would like. And so for many here who shoot guilt. How to succeed in overcoming them (at least in part)?
In the first months of life the child needs the relationship with her mother because it is through it that provides the basis of its existence to become a child safe and able to experience autonomously. In case this is not possible, it is necessary to devise alternative measures to allow stem this important shortcoming.
need to find an alternative attachment figure, preferably a family member (eg father, a grandmother, aunt etc..) To which the mother eats a good trust and with whom he has a genuine relationship and open dialogue . This will enable the mother to feel calm when there is not and will happily discuss the ways, times and places of education.
The mother, meanwhile, has the task of concentrating the relationship with her child in time you have available, and how? Taking the little close to him, to hug, caress it, look into his eyes, speak words carefully and actively listening and doing so by responding to their needs of care and recognition of Self. In this way the child can find the maternal care and feel loved and protected.
Mom, you know who is doing the best she can do, knows that he has entrusted his son to a person of trust and that when he returned home he found the intimate bond with her child for this learn to recognize to be a capable mother and consequently happy. To give the best of Themselves to their children should not be the perfect parents as it is useful to recognize their own limitations, accepting personal and invent ways to overcome them.
There are however women who return immediately, rather than the need for will return to work because they can not help it. But moms are really "unnatural", as many believe, or do well?
do not like to give absolute labels to people, I always think that if you behavior assumes that there is a reason to be sought and may be a need to meet, away from a fear or discomfort to remove, then I wonder what he looks for a mother who returns to his early work?
Perhaps looking for her professional identity as a woman and because she believes may be questioned if he devoted himself entirely to his own son (eg risk of redundancy, a career shift, etc.).. Or are you afraid to confront the maternal function that you may not be quite appropriate and takes refuge in a role he knows and meets. Or it may be difficult to stop, because that requires a child and when you stop, reflect and often emerge Unresolved conflicts with a parent with a partner or a part of us which we do not want to come to terms.
When a mother wishes to return immediately to his work rather than looking after his son's mother is not an "unnatural" and even a model to follow but perhaps it could hide a discomfort that should be recognized, accepted and dealt with ' help of those who stand by her.
The child feels more when the gap is around 6 / 9 months or less than three months?
The child feels the separation from the mother and 1-month to one year of age but fa in modo differente e soprattutto ha risorse diverse per elaborarlo.
Più il bambino è piccolo e maggiore sarà il disagio poiché egli ha più bisogno di cure e ha minori capacità per elaborare l’assenza materna. Un neonato, quando la mamma non c’è può pensare che sia “sparita” per questo la separazione a questa età deve avvenire solo se veramente necessario, gradualmente e possibilmente per brevi periodi.
Più il bambino cresce e più è sicuro e capace di portare con sé la mamma anche quando non c’è, prima attraverso un oggetto (“la copertina di Linus” or transactional object) and then with the mind, allowing him to live a life separate from it without feeling abandoned.
separation from the mother is an important step for the healthy development of a child but it is never painless, but should not be underestimated for this project step by step focusing the child's needs without neglecting the family needs. "
To read the original article click here
Dr. Manganiello Katjuscia Psychologist Psychotherapist Pesaro Urbino Marche Study of Psychology and Psychotherapy V. Posthumus, 8 Pesaro Urbino Marche
need to find an alternative attachment figure, preferably a family member (eg father, a grandmother, aunt etc..) To which the mother eats a good trust and with whom he has a genuine relationship and open dialogue . This will enable the mother to feel calm when there is not and will happily discuss the ways, times and places of education.
The mother, meanwhile, has the task of concentrating the relationship with her child in time you have available, and how? Taking the little close to him, to hug, caress it, look into his eyes, speak words carefully and actively listening and doing so by responding to their needs of care and recognition of Self. In this way the child can find the maternal care and feel loved and protected.
Mom, you know who is doing the best she can do, knows that he has entrusted his son to a person of trust and that when he returned home he found the intimate bond with her child for this learn to recognize to be a capable mother and consequently happy. To give the best of Themselves to their children should not be the perfect parents as it is useful to recognize their own limitations, accepting personal and invent ways to overcome them.
do not like to give absolute labels to people, I always think that if you behavior assumes that there is a reason to be sought and may be a need to meet, away from a fear or discomfort to remove, then I wonder what he looks for a mother who returns to his early work?
Perhaps looking for her professional identity as a woman and because she believes may be questioned if he devoted himself entirely to his own son (eg risk of redundancy, a career shift, etc.).. Or are you afraid to confront the maternal function that you may not be quite appropriate and takes refuge in a role he knows and meets. Or it may be difficult to stop, because that requires a child and when you stop, reflect and often emerge Unresolved conflicts with a parent with a partner or a part of us which we do not want to come to terms.
When a mother wishes to return immediately to his work rather than looking after his son's mother is not an "unnatural" and even a model to follow but perhaps it could hide a discomfort that should be recognized, accepted and dealt with ' help of those who stand by her.
The child feels the separation from the mother and 1-month to one year of age but fa in modo differente e soprattutto ha risorse diverse per elaborarlo.
Più il bambino è piccolo e maggiore sarà il disagio poiché egli ha più bisogno di cure e ha minori capacità per elaborare l’assenza materna. Un neonato, quando la mamma non c’è può pensare che sia “sparita” per questo la separazione a questa età deve avvenire solo se veramente necessario, gradualmente e possibilmente per brevi periodi.
Più il bambino cresce e più è sicuro e capace di portare con sé la mamma anche quando non c’è, prima attraverso un oggetto (“la copertina di Linus” or transactional object) and then with the mind, allowing him to live a life separate from it without feeling abandoned.
separation from the mother is an important step for the healthy development of a child but it is never painless, but should not be underestimated for this project step by step focusing the child's needs without neglecting the family needs. "
To read the original article click here
). Imagine that you have made him a nice gift too! 
