Esistono coppie la cui relazione è costruita sulle sembianze di una sfida continua in cui ogni partner combatte per averla vinta sull’altro. Spesso non ricordano più come sono arrivati a tanta ostilità and report to argue for anything but trivial and insignificant. pairs are symmetrical in the report that those couples who have an equal distribution of power, in which there is no significant difference in roles or a specialization in the tasks, but each member shall have the same resources and capabilities in every area of married life. All this does not create any discomfort were it not that these partners then take a stance so that he could not drive any negotiation between the parties.
Let me explain. If two people express opinions both valid and functional is difficult to choose which one to apply, you must be willing to negotiate that the two ideas for change obtain a third still valid. The pairs of which we speak are unable to achieve this last step, listen and accept the idea of \u200b\u200bthe other to supplement their own.
This inability is not permanent or absolute, but is linked to the concept that by accepting the point of view we give up then it is shown to have less power and you lose.
So as not to lose, the partners are trying to impose their ideas more tenaciously (symmetrical escalation), in an endless struggle in which nobody wins, but both give up the serenity and the pleasure of being together.
At times, these couples enact this theater, in an unconscious way, to move a report a bit 'off or sexually vivacious little so the argument becomes the prelude to an intense embrace, or just his figurative representation. For them, it becomes difficult to switch modes because they derive a net benefit relationship, but may fail if willing to get the same result by replacing the argument with a more functional and practical especially if you are able to rely upon an outside expert who will lead them and support them.
The argument in the couple is healthy and functional when it helps to know oneself and the other, to discuss when it allows for more understanding and open itself to dialogue and learn something new, when based on the reciprocal and Finally, when the couple to win and not the individual.
E 'recommended the movie "War of the Roses" by Danny De Vito, 1982
Katjuscia Dr. Manganiello - Psychologist Psychotherapist Pesaro Urbino (Marche)
Study of Psychology and Psychotherapy - via Guido Posthumus, 8 Urbino, Pesaro (Marche)
